"Any chance you're pregnant?" The nurse asked me as I was being prepped for my first x ray since the diagnosis. Any chance? Well, we were newly weds. Isn't there always a chance? This was a fully loaded question and after two straight days of procedures, I was in no position to answer a fully loaded question. Having just learned that I had cancer for two years without knowing it, I didn't want to take any chances by making assumptions anymore. "I mean, I guess there's a chance?" I responded. By her reaction, I learned very quickly that this was not a fully loaded question. This was a routine question and I had just completely messed up the routine.
Now obviously I was not pregnant at that time being that I was able to start treatments without any complications. We were advised though, to see a fertility doctor before I started them. "We can't waste any time. If you decide you want to freeze some of your eggs, you need to do so now." We were told.
Now, we didn't go into any scientific research to find out if being able to do a procedure like this was a blessing or something that was disrespectful to God's creation. Right off the bat, Harrison knew that it was disrespectful to God's power. "If God wants us to have children, we don't need to freeze eggs in order for Him to make that happen. That is an unnecessary expense." His mind was set and as difficult as it was for me to relinquish my control on something I wanted so badly, I backed him up. My cancer, and everything that came with it was put into God's hands.
From that statement, I will add that our God is a redeemer. He can take all of that bad, scary stuff, and make something good out of it! Your doctor's can't do that; your pastor can't do that; and as much as a control freak that you may be, you can't do that either! Romans 8:28 "We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose."
God is faithful to His word and He will do what He says He's going to do. Now here is the fun part. Allow me to share with you the very moment that God pulled through for us!
"Mrs. Jones, there's a chance that you're pregnant!?" It was July 18th 2014 and I was taking off my jewelry for my routine CT scan when the nurse came running in frantically. "We don't know if I'm able to have children yet, but we have been trying. They were supposed to do blood test with my blood work from this morning." I responded. "Oh my gosh, we've never had anyone check that box before!" They took me out immediately and sat me in a dressing room to wait on the results.
There I was, half dressed in a robe with an IV dangling from my arm at the cancer center. And those poor ladies had no idea what they were doing! Not only was this a cancer center, it was the imaging department! "I'm so sorry to be complicated, they have all come back negative for months and I'm sure this one will be no different."I explained. I could tell they were becoming aggravated having to wait on my blood results.
45 minutes later a women came in with a piece of paper. I was ready to grab my things so we could finally get on with my scan. "Mrs. Jones? Hmm. It looks like your not getting that scan today!" She showed me the positive test and the only thing I could do was cry. There's a baby in there!? I'm a mommy!! All of the other workers were stunned. "I have goosebumps!" One of the women said to me while the nurse taking me back was clapping her hands shouting "yay yay yay!" And I was just a blubbery mess! What a situation that was! All of a sudden I heard a familiar voice. "Where is she? Is she freaking out?" Kim! I was so caught up in the moment, I forgot that I actually had some support here. She came right in and hugged me. It felt so good realizing that I was not alone! Kim DeWitt is my nurse practitioner and has been a God send for Harrison and I. She has become a great friend to us and I was so thankful that I had her that day!
Nanci, my nurse who tortured me for 6 months by shooting me up with chemo ;) has become very special to us as well. Even though I was put into a "chemo coma" (as I called it) for days following each treatment, I still looked forward to every other Thursday. A nurse who can make you feel that comfortable and cared for is a special one indeed! So I was very happy that she was there for me in that moment as well.
I've made numerous mistakes in my life, and I am far from perfect still. With that being said, I am however, very proud of our faith and trust in God. Harrison and I gave God our marriage, my cancer, and now my school as we have followed Him blindly by allowing Him to close the door on it. He has now revealed to us everything He has been "redeeming" with the most important areas of our lives. All because we were able to hand them over to Him.
God knows I needed to be home. This has been a very rough first trimester! And now I get to stay home and raise our baby. Not that finishing school is out of the picture because I would very much like to do that, but this child and my family are the priority. There is no push right now for me to finish school. We have given or finances over to God as well and He has blessed us for it! Harrison and I just cannot believe that I am able to stay home and we can still do all of the things we need to do on just one income.
The joy that we are experiencing at this moment is indescribable. The plans that God has for you are far better than anything that you could plan for yourself. If you just put them in His hands, you will experience an abundance of His love, mercy, and grace. I pray that you would be able to have the same joy that we have now which can only come from God and through Jesus Christ.
Our little miracle will make his/her appearance in March of 2015. Yes, we are going to be parents!
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