Have you ever had an idea or a thought that makes perfect sense from your point of view, but have trouble explaining it to others? Then all of a sudden someone comes along and perfectly sums it up in just a sentence! I guess if you're a "professional thinker" like my dad and I, this would happen more often for you! I have filled up entire blog posts trying to explain a concept and then I hear a sermon or someone on the radio and it is perfectly restated using just a few words! I tried explaining my fatigue in another post from last year: "I find myself getting into the most annoying cycle: I get up and start
doing things around the house and quickly get tired. So I lie down to
take a nap and then I can't fall asleep! So I get back up to do stuff
around the house, and the cycle continues. Annoying!" A few days ago a picture from the invisible illness page popped up as I was scrolling through.The quote in the picture read, "It's a kind of TIRED that sleep can't fix." I read that and it was like someone had just made sense of my entire world. That is me every single day since my treatments. That is fatigue! I learned very quickly that I just might have a pretty good understanding of what these women go through everyday. I may not have an illness, but I am recovering from one and though my symptoms may not be visible, they are debilitating!
I wanted more. I had a glimpse of hope that someone else might actually understand me! I scrolled through the posts starving for something else to help me cope. I saw something about spoons. Yes it sounds weird, I thought the same thing! It was an article titled, "The Spoon Theory" written by someone who lives everyday with an invisible illness: lupus. I would encourage you to read this to fully understand what I'm about to write.
I was filled with sadness, understanding, and excitement all at the same time as I read how this women explained what day to day life is like for her to her friend. It was beautifully illustrated. Her disease allows her only so much energy and motivation to get through daily activities. She used spoons as a visual aid for her friend. Each daily task or chore costs a little bit of that energy and motivation, or in Christine's case, a spoon! "Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point." Miserandino explained. "I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting."
I don't know how many times I've had to send out disappointing texts out to friends, "I'm sorry I can't make it this morning. My insomnia was really bad last night!" After asking her friend to walk through a normal day, Christine Miserandino explained how she quickly took away a spoon before her friend could even get dressed for the day.
"When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” -I read this and immediately thought, "This girl gets me!"
Christine Miserandino
I've dealt with frustrations of knowing that others see "lazy" written right across my forehead as I tell others what I'm up to these days. I'm not lazy, I just have to ration my spoons! Harrison and I have readjusted our entire lives so that I can use what little "spoons" I have to their full potential. As I read this woman's story, I no longer felt frustrated. I felt like I have been so ungrateful and realized that I am so blessed! She and I may start out with the same amount of spoons for the day, but I was heartbroken to hear how detailed she has to be as she rations hers out. Not to mention, as the years go by I am going to get better. I won't be a recovering cancer patient forever. I am going to be a mom though ;) So hey, let the spoon counting continue! The quotes used in this post and the "Spoon Theory" itself are all from Christine Miserandino. I take no credit! I am, however, thankful for her life and her willingness to share :)
"The difference in being sick and
being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things
when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a
life without choices, a gift most people take for granted." - See more at:
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/#sthash.B2TP4EWc.dpuf
I
explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having
to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of
the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without
choices, a gift most people take for granted. - See more at:
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/#sthash.B2TP4EWc.dpuf
Most
people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy
to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part,
they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my
explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. - See more at:
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/#sthash.B2TP4EWc.dpuf
Most
people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy
to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part,
they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my
explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. - See more at:
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/#sthash.B2TP4EWc.dpuf
Most
people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy
to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part,
they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my
explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. - See more at:
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/#sthash.B2TP4EWc.dpuf
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