"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of a whole lot of things according to the Bible." True words spoken by my pastor during our evening service. And man have I been fearing God these last few months!
This "fear" all started when a documentary came on a while back explaining the book of Revelation. It was the beginning of a frustrating rampant for Harrison. Once something gets in my head, it doesn't go away until I've completely dissected it. Many of my friends reading this are probably recalling this particular rant! I have a tendency to bring up my "obsession of the week" during casual conversation. Not exactly table conversation! But you have to be patient with me when I'm thinking in my "thinking zone." I will get it all out eventually! However, this particular one really caught my attention because realized I didn't understand the end times as well as I thought. The unknown gave me a sense of terror in the pit of my stomach. Knowing what could be lying ahead of me drove me into a scare that had me diving into God's word trying to figure out if I was really as "ready" as I thought I was. The end times: A scary revelation for me!
How about anger? I know I have been very angry lately (mostly due to post-chemo out of whack hormones) did you know the Bible talks about not inheriting the kingdom of God when it comes to "hatred," or "fits of rage?" After reading that I had a long sit down with each of my loved ones asking for forgiveness, in an attempt to rid myself of all of my anger.
To calm my panic attack I started looking for ways to convince myself that I'm ok! I tried reminding myself of my faithfulness. There's one thing I can proudly claim: I trust God with all of my heart. I know that His ways are far better than mine. I have given Him my life: my marriage, my cancer, and look how He took care of those things! I also tried reminding myself of my accomplishments. God has used me on several occasions to lead others to salvation. This blog is another product of my faithfulness. I don't write these posts to puff myself up; I write them for Him.
This has been my struggle of mine for quite some time now. Am I saved? Was my seed of salvation planted on rocks instead of nutritious soil where it could thrive? According to these things I've been reading, the simplest of sins can send you straight to hell. But that's not what I was taught? I'm missing something! What is it? Then tonight, something wonderful happened! I ran across Proverbs 16:6 Which oh so pleasantly states, "Through love and faithfulness, sin is atoned for. Through the fear of the Lord, a man avoids evil." Ahhhhh... Yes! do you feel better? I sure do!
There's this thing that I sometimes forget to keep in mind when it comes to reading God's word: The context! Our bible lists symptoms of unbelievers. That would be someone who continues to live in sin; With no intentions and no drive to turn away from it. This certainly does not describe someone who sees one verse about anger and turns around to repent immediately, asking forgiveness of all their loved ones. That would actually be a symptom of a believer! Are you beginning to sense the bigger picture?
Through love and faithfulness my anger; my sin, is atoned for. Man, do I fear God! And that's how I will avoid evil. My fear of God's wrath scared me quick into repentance! That is just one of the many beginnings of fearing God.
If you have questions, or are struggling with understanding like I was, I'm a very good listener :) jones.taylorann@gmail.com And if you are interested in learning more about the blessings what come from fearing the Lord, the book of Proverbs is full of them!
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