Thank you Kennedy, And thank you God!

I was ready. When I heard the word, "lymphoma" I didn't even flinch. Don't get me wrong, it was hard and there were days where I felt like I couldn't do it anymore, but that's how trials are! For the most part however, I was a warrior. I know God won't give you more than you can handle and He gave me exactly the right dose of tribulation. Just enough to bend me, not quite enough to break me.

For whatever reason, after falling in love with Harrison, I have had a terrible fear of losing him. I was 19 years old and stressing out every time my boyfriend went out of town. What if he gets into an accident? I couldn't live without him. That's just nuts! You're not supposed to live in that and dwell in that. Especially not at 19!

That fear became real for me days after my diagnosis. Harrison and I held each other and cried all night long. He refused to get up from the couch with me when it was time for bed. "Let's just stay here a little while longer." He would say, "We can be closer here." We didn't know how much time we had left with each other. But once the doctors assured us that the treatments would work quickly and effectively, it was war time! And we fought through.

I was in the car a couple of months ago listening to a new song that I'm obsessed with! I was soaking up the lyrics and praising God for what He did in our lives through my battle.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior"

These words describe perfectly what God put us through. As I continued to worship, that daunting fear took over my thoughts again: what if something were to happen to one of us? I began to pray and plead that God would get rid of those horrid thoughts and the pain that came along with them. "Why am I dwelling on something like this? This is so unhealthy!"

All of a sudden I felt a calm and then I felt God speaking to me. "I already saved you. Wasn't that enough? I put you through a life threatening situation and I saved you. Did that not show you?" Feeling relieved,  I quickly changed the station and praised Him all the way home! "You are so right!" I thought. Isn't he always though?

Some of you may be familiar with Kennedy Branham, the 14 year old girl who just recently lost her fight with brain cancer. Harrison and I watched her story on the news last night and instantly fell in love with this young girls heart as we listened to her loved ones talk about her. This girl's only focus was to use her tragedy to share Jesus with others. Always smiling and not once asking God, "why?" As I watched a clip of her, having completely changed in appearance due to all of her medication, smiling as she hugged and thank someone, I felt God speak to me again. "I gave that to her, I didn't give that to you. She could handle it, you could not. I will never give you more than you can handle."

I know that sweet girl touched so many lives, teaching others about the peace we can have through a relationship with Christ. God used her life to teach me something too. Thank you Kennedy and thank you God!