A couple of weeks ago we were asked to share our testimony at an Easter service for church. Pastor Shane made it clear that it was ok for me to do all of the talking just and have Harrison stand with me. As my friend, Kim, put it, "I was the voice, and he was the face!" The shy thing that he is was more nervous than I was and all he had to do was stand there!
I do great in front of a room full of students. They usually shake their heads as I bounce around the room with excitement going on about biology. Seeing the "light bulbs" go off as they get what I'm saying is the most rewarding feeling. I have the potential to transfer that into getting the "light bulbs" to go off about Jesus. However, I was extremely nervous as I was doing something like this for the first time, but also so excited about the doors this could open. I have a story... I have lots of stories actually and they need to be told. God needs to be glorified.
There were a number of things that took place due to this event where God spoke loudly, "I'm right here, right by your side. It's ok. Everything is ok. I am here."
Like I said, Harrison was more nervous than I was just to stand there and look precious. Everyone joked about "what a great job" he did in comparison to me but he did do a fantastic job. I could have totally stood up there by myself and gotten away with that but no, he stood by me up on that stage. He helped calm my nerves. The amount of support I received from him doing that is huge.
I've gone on and on about my weight due to these steroids. I can't fit into any of my old clothes. I have a few pair of jeans that I borrowed from a family member just until I get my weight under control after the steroids. Those are the only pants I have! I thought to myself, "surely those couple of dresses that were way too big for me last spring should fit now." Um wrong! Every dress I tried on, I couldnt get back off without help. Finding out that my "too big" clothes were now ridiculously too small and coming to the conclusion that I literally had NOTHING to wear became devastating.
I got a call from my mother in law, "You need a black pair of pants. I'm taking you." We went to belks that afternoon and she got me more than just a pair of black pants. I found a couple of outfits that I felt good in. I so needed that, not just because I needed something to wear to the event but emotionally, I needed a boost. I can't describe the love and security I feel from having ashea and bing. We are so blessed.
Before we went in to the event, Harrison and I held hands and prayed in the car. While I was asking God to please calm my nerves and... "me me me" I realized how selfish I was being. By being nervous, I'm making it about me. By being so embarrassed of my size and the way I look, I'm making it about me. This was not about me. This was about Jesus. No matter how nervous, how big, or how much hair I had God needed to send a message to a group of people... My looks do not mean a thing when it comes to that.
While we were up on stage, I saw Ashby sitting on the back row. That girl would NEVER walk up into a place by herself. And here she was, at a church she's never been to, filled with people she didn't know. I know what that meant for her to be there. That kind if support from my best friend was the straw that broke the camels back.
As I looked back on the support from my husband, family, and friends, I broke down. Again, there I was crying in my kitchen, "Oh, Jesus thank you. Lord, God I am so blessed and so undeserving of it. Blessed, blessed! God! I am so blessed!"
I'm so thankful for that event and the blessings in my life that came to light through it.
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