Not your typical bad haircut

"I'm done being humble! I don't want to be like this anymore! Why do I have to continue this?" These are the words I shouted out at God on my drive home from the hair salon.

My hair has just very recently been at a length that allows me to do things I used to take for granted. I could tuck it behind my ears and use bobby pins! My favorite thing is when it got in Harrison's face when we snuggled. I loved it when he had to run his fingers through my hair to get it out of his way. " What an awesome problem to have! " I joked.

Now I was ready for a "big girl haircut." "There's finally enough to get it styled!" I was grinning from ear to ear the entire drive to the salon.

Last weekend I went to the mall to get some makeup and met the sweetest girl in the process. She made me feel confident and pretty. I never realized how important it is to feel good about yourself. It gives you motivation to fight through the treatments, and a drive for me to share my story with others. Because it really isn't my story, it's God's and it's my job to share Him with the world. Now that I think about it, He's made that very easy for me to do!

I decided to park all the way on the opposite side of the mall so I could walk through the makeup department. I forgot to give her my blog site! Luckily I found her, handed her a few cards and started for the salon. "I'll have a chance to give out more of my cards when I get my haircut!" I was having a great day.

When I got there I showed the girl a picture of what I wanted. "Do i have enough hair to do this?" I asked, worrying what her answer might be. "Definitely! This is going to look so cool!" She told me, and we proceeded to the sink so she could wash it! It's been a year since I've had to have my hair washed before the cut. Mandy always  squirts a little water on it and it's drenched. Not this time! I'm feeling like a new woman this time.

I sat down and she began snipping. I started to feel like she was getting a little carried away. "Calm down Taylor, she knows what she's doing." I thought to myself. When she turned my chair around for the big reveal, what in the mirror looked nothing like the picture I showed her. It was everything I could do to hold back tears. "No no no, there's nothing to tuck behind my ears! My bangs. My bangs are gone! It took almost a year for me to get those back and now they're gone!" I thought, trying not let it show on my face.

I had to pay and get out quick. "Thank goodness I decided to wear a hat today." I thought as I put it on the second I was out of sight from the salon. I rushed across the mall trying not let my emotions spill over. I avoided the makeup place. "I have to avoid that girl. If anyone takes notice of this haircut I'm guaranteed to explode with tears."

I barely made it to my car all in one piece. I fell apart the second I shut the door. I understand that this sounds dramatic but this is not just a typical bad haircut for me. No, for me this is ten steps back in the cancer recovery process. I have to start all over again growing my hair out.

God never let's things happen without reason, even little things like a bad haircut. "Why! Why do I have to look like a cancer patient for a few more months? I was there! I was finally there! I looked like my old self again. Why did you take that from me!" I shouted at God. Then Christian radio came in and saved the day again.

"When I fix my eyes on all that You are Then every doubt I feel Deep in my heart Grows strangely dim"

I don't know God's reason for keeping me in this state, but the only way I'm going to get through it is to fix my eyes on Him. Talk to Him, read about Him in His word, and worship and praise Him. I know that nothing else matters when I bury myself in His love. So I got my phone out, pulled that song up on youtube and listened to repeatedly all the way home. "All my worries fade And fall to the ground Cause when I seek Your face And don't look around Any place I'm in Grows strangely dim."

Ashby's step mom was in town that night and we were meeting them for supper. I forewarned her with a text before we got there, "don't say anything about my hair. If you draw attention, I will cry." My best friend's response: "Love you no matter what. I don't look at you for your hair." I needed to hear that and I needed the time we had that night. It was so good to see Allie and share memories across the table of stories from with Ashby and I were little.

When we got to Ashby's house, I pulled her aside and took off my hat revealing my haircut. "God needs you to look like this for a little while longer. He's not done with you yet." She told me. I'm so thankful for her. If the girl who cut my hair ever gets ahold of this blog, I hope she knows that God used her too. I'm surprised at the amount of people that ask me about my short hair. It opens up the door to share what God did in my life. Our church motto is,  "Doing whatever it takes to share Jesus." Even if I have to go a few more months with hardly any hair, if it's an opportunity to share Jesus, I'm in!

Is our bible still accurate?

I feel that I need to share what has contributed to making my faith as strong as it is because many people are very curious. There are two main things in particular. I have already posted one about my sister previously titled, "God hears, isn't that miraculous?" Well here I want to talk about the next one:  How the bible was written... Such an amazing story!

The bible is composed of 66 books, with over 40 different authors, and written over a span of 1600  years. And then when the story for put together something  amazing happens:   they flowed,  coming together creating a beautiful story.

Something I forgot to mention about all of these different authors: none of them knew each other. most of them even lived in different life times.  remember what I said? The part about the  1600 years?

The point I'm trying to make is this: That is an impossible thing to take place! How can 40-something "Joe Blows" write ONE story without coordinating with one another? This is one of the reasons why I believe that the bible is true and why I feel the need to live by it and do what it says.

I know one of the main arguments out there that people lean on and depend on is, " there are so many different versions of the Bible out there, it's not accurate anymore, blah blah blah blah "

I have done quite a bit of research on this and even took a course on the subject. I read somewhere that the Bible has been kept more accurate than Aristotle's writings. What! Another argument that a lot of people have is how the bible was passed down orally for a long period of time. That right there is enough for someone to say, "Forget it. There is no way it can be accurate through all of that!" But you have to understand the culture at that time. It was very strict. Parents would have their kids recite things everyday, making sure they had it perfectly memorized and engrained in their memory. Now, if it was our culture today passing down stories orally, then you really can forget it! But would you have a problem if everything was passed on electronically our day and age? Of course not! That's how we operate. And that's how they operated back then: passing things down through memory by being strictly enforced to do so. You have to understand what the culture is like during it's time.

The most important thing aside from all of the facts is the God we have. Our God is big. I have seen the miracles that he is performed in my life and in the lives of others. I know that he created the world in just 6 days and only by the breath of his mouth. I watched my lymphoma MELT AWYAY. Remember, this is the God who closed the mouths of lions, and parted the Red Sea. He allowed Sarah to concieve long after her "child bearing" years were over. How hard is it then for our God to keep His hand on His word, making sure that it remains unchanged?

Be Sweet

On our way out of lab yesterday my friend and I were stopped by an older gentlemen in our class. I’ve never met this man before and out of nowhere he started sharing his “arguments” in relation to what we just talked about in class. I like for my posts to be real but at the same time I want to keep them family friendly so I won’t get into details of our conversation. I can tell you he got into some very deep issues. I have no idea what made him feel like approaching my friend and I about this but I’m always thankful to have the opportunity to share Christ so I tried to choose my words wisely.

I don’t know much about genetics. I had just been introduced to them for the first time only 5 minutes prior to this conversation. So I am no place to form an educated opinion on his conclusion to these things.The only thing I could say that I knew for certain was, “Yes I believe we are all born sinners so we cannot help our desires for other things.” I got the hint very quickly that he didn’t appreciate my input. 
 
His next comment was, "Most people read the King James Version but that only came about because the original version was translated by some king into what is now the King James Version. So..." and then he walked off.

It was hard for me not to say something. I may not have my genetics down pat but I do know how the bible was written and how it was translated. I also know that our God is so powerful that if He wanted His word to stay accurate even through many translations, that He would keep His hand on it and make sure that happened. I wanted so bad to lash out and defend my Lord and savior but God's word says, "be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." Not only that but it also says to "act out of love and not out of anger."

I'm so thankful for our church service immediately following this uncomfortable encounter. For the entire month of October, our Wednesday night meetings are titled, "Sweet Tea." (Everything is duck dynasty themed... Which is awesome!!)
 
Last night we talked about the opportunities we have when we're faced with adversity. The first thing we need to do is "be sweet!" In our weaknesses, we have the opportunity to be strengthened. "Even young men grow weary, but those who hope in the Lord, He will renew their strength."
 
I felt so weak standing there yesterday, saying nothing, when I had so much to say. But according to God's word, in our weakness, we have an opportunity to witness God's power to others. I guess I chose my words wisely by not saying anything at all.