Hair or no hair?

I had my hair made into a "headband" wig. It's exactly what it sounds like- hair hanging from a headband. So I'm supposed to wear it with a hat and no one will be able to notice.... Supposedly. I've tried the thing on a couple of times and it's just aggravating. Stationary hair that doesn't have any sort of "natural flow," and I have to wear a hat on top of a head band... No thanks! I was pretty excited about it at first but the more I play with it the more frustrated I get... The more scared I get also. Pretty soon I won't be able to throw the stupid thing in the closet and go about my day. Pretty soon I'll only have one of two options- fake looking hair or no hair. I'm crying as I write this. Why? What is the big deal? It's just hair! I have a husband who thinks I'm the cats meow day and night (morning too... and that morning breath is kicking!). I know with out a doubt the way he looks at me isn't going to change no matter what. Even when my hair is gone. Isn't that the only thing that should matter when it comes to my looks? So what's my problem?

It's the stares. It's knowing that people know you're different. You know they have a million questions, they want to know why. Typically I just want to give the explanation and let them know, "I know I'm different. I don't know if you knew that I knew I was different but I do. I'm not stupid." I dealt with that everyday when I moved to Seattle. I tried so hard to lose the southern accent but that drawl always managed to seep through. People would look at me funny. Every time I walked into a room, met someone new, or spoke to the cashier at the grocery store, the first thing I wanted say was, "I'm from south carolina, I have a southern accent," just to clear the air. Now it will be, "I have cancer, please don't feel sorry for me."

So there you go, I'm not perfect. This thing does get me down sometimes ;) Now I'm going to go thank my Lord and savoir for what He did when he chose to come to Earth and live a poor lifestyle. So thankful that I have a God who can relate to all of my problems because he's been down here and he DID NOT live like a king. He died naked on a cross... For ME (and you too). How humiliating that must have been. Yet, here I am complaining about my hair. Oh father, please forgive me.